commit: 2895b07f02891013c3306a33cccc831071aa40b0
parent e2259e758eaf1231757f420b644c6aaa62218ec5
Author: Drew DeVault <sir@cmpwn.com>
Date: Mon, 30 May 2022 19:50:40 +0200
bleh
Diffstat:
1 file changed, 66 insertions(+), 0 deletions(-)
diff --git a/content/blog/bleh.md b/content/blog/bleh.md
@@ -0,0 +1,66 @@
+---
+title: bleh
+date: 2022-05-30
+---
+
+A few weeks ago, the maintainer of a project on SourceHut stepped down from
+their work, citing harassment over using SourceHut as their platform of choice.
+It was a difficult day when I heard about that.
+
+Over the past few weeks, I have been enduring a bit of a depressive episode.
+It's a complex issue rooted in several different problems, but I think a major
+source of it is the seemingly constant deluge of hate I find myself at the
+receiving end of online. I had to grow a thick skin a long time ago, but lately
+it has not been thick enough. I am finding it increasingly difficult to keep up
+with my work.
+
+Perhaps it this has something to do with the backlash, not just against me and
+my work, but against others who use and participate in that work. It's not
+enough to dislike my programming language, but the skeptics must publicly
+denounce it and discourage others from using it. It's irresponsible, if not
+immoral, to design a language without a borrow checker in 2022. SourceHut's
+email-oriented approach might not be for everyone, and instead of simply not
+using it, skeptics must harass any projects that do. This kind of harassment is
+something I hear about often from many maintainers of projects on SourceHut. It
+breaks my heart and I feel helpless to do anything about it.
+
+I'm also often dealing with harassment directed at me alone. When I complained
+this week about being DDoSed by a company with over a billion dollars in annual
+revenue, it was portrayed as righteous retribution and a sign of incompetence. I
+can't even count the number of times someone has said they would refuse to use
+SourceHut (and that you, too, dear reader, should avoid it) on the sole basis
+that I'm involved with it. There is a steady supply of vile comments about me
+based on "facts" delivered from the end of a game of telephone in which every
+participant hates my guts, all easily believable without further research
+because I'm such a villainous character. Every project I work on, every blog
+post I write, even many of the benign emails to public lists or GitHub issues I
+open — the response is just vitriol.
+
+I have made no shortage of mistakes, and there are plenty of hurt feelings which
+can be laid at my feet. I am regretful for my mistakes, and I have worked
+actively to improve. I think that it has been working. Perhaps that's arrogant
+of me to presume, but I'm not sure what else to do. Must I resign myself to my
+fate for stupid comments I made years ago? I'm sorry, and I've been working to
+do better. Can I have another chance?
+
+For some I think the answer is "no". Many of my detractors just want me to shut
+up. No more blog posts, no new projects. Just go away, Drew.
+
+Well, I can't say it's not working. This stuff gets to me. At times like this I
+have very little motivation to work. If you're looking for a strategy to get me
+to shut up, just ensure that I have a constant flow of toxic comments to read.
+
+I love writing code, at least most of the time. I believe in my principles and I
+enjoy writing software that embodies them. I love doing it, and I'm really good
+at it, and thousands of people are depending on my work.
+
+I'm doing the work that I believe in, and working with people who share those
+values. I have worked very hard for that privilege. I'm sorry that it's not good
+enough for many people. I'm just trying to do my best. And if you must harass
+anyone over it, at least harass me, and not anyone else. My inbox is at
+sir@cmpwn.com, and I promise that I will read your email and cry, so that no one
+else has to.
+
+I'll close by thanking those who have sent me positive notes. Some of these
+comments are very touching. If you've sent one of these, you have my thanks.
+Love you :)
