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drewdevault.com

[mirror] blog and personal website of Drew DeVault git clone https://hacktivis.me/git/mirror/drewdevault.com.git
commit: 2895b07f02891013c3306a33cccc831071aa40b0
parent e2259e758eaf1231757f420b644c6aaa62218ec5
Author: Drew DeVault <sir@cmpwn.com>
Date:   Mon, 30 May 2022 19:50:40 +0200

bleh

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diff --git a/content/blog/bleh.md b/content/blog/bleh.md @@ -0,0 +1,66 @@ +--- +title: bleh +date: 2022-05-30 +--- + +A few weeks ago, the maintainer of a project on SourceHut stepped down from +their work, citing harassment over using SourceHut as their platform of choice. +It was a difficult day when I heard about that. + +Over the past few weeks, I have been enduring a bit of a depressive episode. +It's a complex issue rooted in several different problems, but I think a major +source of it is the seemingly constant deluge of hate I find myself at the +receiving end of online. I had to grow a thick skin a long time ago, but lately +it has not been thick enough. I am finding it increasingly difficult to keep up +with my work. + +Perhaps it this has something to do with the backlash, not just against me and +my work, but against others who use and participate in that work. It's not +enough to dislike my programming language, but the skeptics must publicly +denounce it and discourage others from using it. It's irresponsible, if not +immoral, to design a language without a borrow checker in 2022. SourceHut's +email-oriented approach might not be for everyone, and instead of simply not +using it, skeptics must harass any projects that do. This kind of harassment is +something I hear about often from many maintainers of projects on SourceHut. It +breaks my heart and I feel helpless to do anything about it. + +I'm also often dealing with harassment directed at me alone. When I complained +this week about being DDoSed by a company with over a billion dollars in annual +revenue, it was portrayed as righteous retribution and a sign of incompetence. I +can't even count the number of times someone has said they would refuse to use +SourceHut (and that you, too, dear reader, should avoid it) on the sole basis +that I'm involved with it. There is a steady supply of vile comments about me +based on "facts" delivered from the end of a game of telephone in which every +participant hates my guts, all easily believable without further research +because I'm such a villainous character. Every project I work on, every blog +post I write, even many of the benign emails to public lists or GitHub issues I +open&nbsp;&mdash; the response is just vitriol. + +I have made no shortage of mistakes, and there are plenty of hurt feelings which +can be laid at my feet. I am regretful for my mistakes, and I have worked +actively to improve. I think that it has been working. Perhaps that's arrogant +of me to presume, but I'm not sure what else to do. Must I resign myself to my +fate for stupid comments I made years ago? I'm sorry, and I've been working to +do better. Can I have another chance? + +For some I think the answer is "no". Many of my detractors just want me to shut +up. No more blog posts, no new projects. Just go away, Drew. + +Well, I can't say it's not working. This stuff gets to me. At times like this I +have very little motivation to work. If you're looking for a strategy to get me +to shut up, just ensure that I have a constant flow of toxic comments to read. + +I love writing code, at least most of the time. I believe in my principles and I +enjoy writing software that embodies them. I love doing it, and I'm really good +at it, and thousands of people are depending on my work. + +I'm doing the work that I believe in, and working with people who share those +values. I have worked very hard for that privilege. I'm sorry that it's not good +enough for many people. I'm just trying to do my best. And if you must harass +anyone over it, at least harass me, and not anyone else. My inbox is at +sir@cmpwn.com, and I promise that I will read your email and cry, so that no one +else has to. + +I'll close by thanking those who have sent me positive notes. Some of these +comments are very touching. If you've sent one of these, you have my thanks. +Love you :)