drewdevault.com

Going-off-script.md (5031B)

---
title: Going off-script
date: 2023-10-13
---
There is a phenomenon in society which I find quite bizarre. Upon our entry to
this mortal coil, we are endowed with self-awareness, agency, and free will.
Each of the 8 billion members of this human race represents a unique person, a
unique worldview, and a unique agency. Yet, many of us have the same fundamental
goals and strive to live the same life.
I think of such a life experiences as "following the script". Society lays down
for us a framework for living out our lives. Everyone deviates from the script
to some extent, but most people hit the important beats. In Western society,
these beats are something like, go to school, go to college, get a degree, build
a career, get married, have 1.5 children, retire to Florida, die.
There are a number of reasons that someone may deviate from the script. The most
common case is that the deviations are imposed by circumstance. A queer person
will face discrimination, for instance, in marriage, or in adopting and raising
children. Someone born into the lower class will have reduced access to higher
education and their opportunities for career-building are curtailed accordingly;
similar experiences follow for people from marginalized groups. Furthermore,
more and more people who might otherwise be able to follow the script are
finding that they can't afford a home and don't have the resources to build a
family.
There are nevertheless many people who are afforded the opportunity to follow
the script, and when they do so, they often experience something resembling a
happy and fulfilling life. Generally this is not the result of a deliberate
choice -- no one was presented with the script and asked "is this what you
want"? Each day simply follows the last and you make the choices that correspond
with what you were told a good life looks like, and sometimes a good life
follows.
Of course, it is entirely valid to want the "scripted" life. But you were not
asked if you wanted it: it was just handed to you on a platter. The average
person lacks the philosophical background which underpins their worldview and
lifestyle, and consequently cannot explain *why* it's "good", for them or
generally. Consider your career. You were told that it was a desirable thing to
build for yourself, and you understand how to execute your duties as a member of
the working class, but can you explain why those duties are important and why
you should spend half of your waking life executing them? Of course, if you are
good at following the script, you are rewarded for doing so, generally with
money, but not necessarily with self-actualization.
This state of affairs leads to some complex conflicts. This approach to life
favors the status quo and preserves existing power structures, which explains in
part why it is re-enforced by education and broader social pressures. It also
leads to a sense of learned helplessness, a sense that this is the only way
things can be, which reduces the initiative to pursue social change -- for
example, by forming a union.
It can also be uncomfortable to encounter someone who does not follow the
script, or even questions the script. You may be playing along, and mostly or
entirely exposed to people who play along. Meeting someone who doesn't -- they
skipped college, they don't want kids, they practice polyamory, they identify as
a gender other than what you presumed, etc -- this creates a moment of
dissonance and often resistance. This tends to re-enforce biases and can even
present as inadvertent micro-aggressions.
I think it's important to question the script, even if you decide that you like
it. You should be able to explain *why* you like it. This process of questioning
is a radical act. A radical, in its non-pejorative usage, is born when someone
questions their life and worldview, decides that they want something else, and
seeks out others who came to similar conclusions. They organize, they examine
their discomfort and put it to words, and they share these words in the hope
that they can explain a similar discomfort that others might feel within
themselves. Radical movements, which by definition is any movement which
challenges the status quo, are the stories of the birth and spread of radical
ideas.
Ask yourself: who are you? Did you choose to be this person? Who do you want to
be, and how will you become that person? Should you change your major? Drop out?
Quit your job, start a business, found a labor union? Pick up a new hobby? Join
or establish a social club? An activist group? Get a less demanding job, move
into a smaller apartment, and spend more time writing or making art? However you
choose to live, choose it deliberately.
The next step is an exercise in solidarity. How do you feel about others who
made their own choices, choices which may be alike or different to your own?
Or those whose choices were constrained by their circumstances? What can you do
together that you couldn't do alone?
Who do you want to be? Do you know?