Fucking-laptops.md (3552B)
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- date: 2020-02-18
- layout: post
- title: Fucking laptops
- categories: [rants]
- ---
- The best laptop ever made is the ThinkPad X200, and I have two of them. The
- caveats are: I get only 2-3 hours of battery life even with conservative use;
- and it struggles to deal with 1080p videos.
- The integrated GPU, Bluetooth and WiFi, internal sensors, and even the
- fingerprint reader can all be driven by the upstream Linux kernel. In fact, the
- hardware is so well understood that I have successfully used almost all of the
- laptop's features on Linux, FreeBSD, NetBSD, Minix, Haiku, and Plan 9. Plan
- fucking 9. It can run coreboot, too. The back of the laptop has all of the
- screws (Phillips head) labelled so you know which to remove to service which
- parts. User replacable parts include the screen, keyboard (multiple layouts are
- available and are interchangeable), the RAM, hard drive (I put a new SSD in one
- of mine a few weeks ago, and it took about 30 seconds) — actually, there
- are a total of 26 replacable parts in this laptop.[^1] There is a detailed
- 278-page service manual to assist you or your local repair tech in addressing
- any problems that arise.
- [^1]: Which just means you can basically take the entire thing apart and replace almost any part.
- They're quite durable, too. Mine still looks like it just rolled off the
- assembly line yesterday. In fact, it was built 12 years ago.
- The X200 was made in 2008. In the time since, the modern laptops' battery life
- and video decoding performance has improved. In every other respect, the market
- is regressive, half-assed garbage.
- I am usually near power, so I've been reasonably happy even with the pithy
- battery life of the X200. I also have a T520, which sucks in its own way[^2],
- but can decode 1080p videos just fine. I generally don't need a lot of power -
- compiling most programs is fast enough that I don't really notice, especially
- with incremental compilation, and for any large workloads I just SSH out into a
- build server somewhere. However, I've been planning some astronomy outings
- lately, and the battery life matters for this - so I was looking for a laptop I
- could run [Stellarium](https://stellarium.org/) on to drive my telescope into
- the wee hours of the night.
- [^2]: It barely gets an hour and a half of battery life on a good day. And there's an Nvidia optimus GPU, which is just, ugh.
- It has since come to my attention that in 2020, every laptop *still* fucking
- sucks. Even the ones people pretend to like have crippling, egregious flaws. The
- Dell XPS series has a firmware so bad that its engineers should be strung up in
- the town square for building it - if yours works, it's because you were *lucky*.
- System76 laptops are bulky and priced at 2x or 3x what they're worth. Same goes
- for Purism, plus a company I have no desire to support any longer, and they're
- out of stock anyway. Pine64 requires nonfree blobs, patched kernels, and booting
- up ARM devices is a fucking nightmare, and they're out of stock anyway. The Star
- Lite looks promising, but they're out of stock too. Huewei laptops are shameless
- Macbook ripoffs with the same shitty keyboards, and you can't buy them in the US
- anyway. Speaking of Macbooks, even Apple fanboys are fed up with them these
- days.
- The laptop market is in an atrocious state, folks. If you work at any of these
- companies and you're proud of the garbage you're shipping, then I'm disappointed
- in you. Come on, let's get our shit together and try to make a laptop which is
- *at least* as good as the 12 year-old one I'm stuck with now.